193 Power Struggle 3

David跟Sandra聊天，谈到办公室里的勾心斗角是难以避免的，所以只能想办法面对。Sandra 说，

S: Maybe I need to toughen up. You know that old saying: If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."

D: Maybe...but have you tried talking to Tim about this?

S: No...I'm not really a confrontational person.

D: Well, who don't you give it a shot. Use unemotional language and just be very clear and firm about how you feel. Tell him about the things you like about his work ethic and then tell him the areas you don't like.

老话说，If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. 意思是如果承受不了压力，就索性不要干。David 问 Sandra 有没有试着找 Tim 谈谈。Sandra 说自己不喜欢跟别人对抗。confrontation is spelled c-o-n-f-r-o-n-t-a-t-i-o-n, confrontation 是对抗的意思，变成形容词就是 confrontational. David 建议 Sandra 不妨找 Tim 谈一下试试看，give it a shot. 告诉 Tim 自己很赞赏他的 work ethic 工作态度，但是同时也把对他不满的地方告诉他。

S: That's a pretty good idea.

D: And remember...it takes two to tango. You can't have a power struggle without two people, at least two people. You can choose to participate or not.

S: You make some good points.

D: The next time Tim cuts you down in a meeting, don't react. Just let his comments hang there and people will see how petty he's being.

David 补充说，it takes two to tango. tango is spelled t-a-n-g-o, tango. It takes two to tango 就是中文里说的一个巴掌拍不响，还有另外一种说法是 it takes two to make a quarrel. 也是这个意思。David 建议，下次 Tim 再故意贬低 Sandra, 最好不去理他。这里说的 cut someone down 有贬低某人的意思，后面还可以加 to size, to cut someone down to size. David 说，just let his comments hang there 意思是不要去接他的话碴儿，这样别人就会看出他是多么的狭隘，小心眼。

S: I guess I have to remember that all of us are human and humans have egos and will lash out when threatened.

D: That's right! Sometimes I think our office is pretty much like the zoo. We're just office apes!

S: That's a funny thought! Thanks for your advice, David. I feel better already.

D: You're very welcome! See you tomorrow!

Sandra 也说，人都有 ego, ego 是自我，自大的意思，在感到自身受到威胁的情况下，就会 lash out, lash out意思是求助于口头或是肢体上的攻击。Sandra最后对David表示感谢，说自己跟David谈了这么一会儿，I feel better already. 我已经感觉好多了。