224 Body Language 2


S: As a woman I find that I sometimes don't get a good reaction from my handshakes.What am I doing wrong?

M: A woman naturally has a weaker grip than a man. I suggest you go ahead and use a little bit more force. That way, you'll be noticed and taken more seriously.

A: And of course as a salesperson smiling is very important.

M: Oh yes, but it's not just a smile....your entire face needs to light up, and you should remember to flash your teeth when you smile every now and then as it shows sincerity.

Sara说她跟客户握手好像从来都得不到什么强烈的反映,Monica建议她下次握手稍微用点劲,因为女性天生 has a weaker grip 握手的力量比较弱,握手有力才会让别人重视你,把你当真。除了站姿和握手外,面带微笑也很重要,而且 your entire face needs to light up 整个面目表情看起来都要很高兴,时不时还要露出牙齿微笑 flash your teeth,这样会显得更真诚。

J: What should I do with my hands when I'm talking to someone? My natural instinct is to make gestures.

M: Gestures are fine....just don't overdo it. One easy thing to remember is called "mirroring" and basically it means you "mirror" or imitate the actions of the other person.

J: So if the other person is more animated you should be a bit livelier as well?

M: Exactly. But, never raise your hands higher than your chin when you gesture as this can look threatening.

S: Should I nod my head while I'm listening to another person speak?

M: Absolutely. It makes people feel that you're listening, and that you agree. You can also slightly tilt your head to one side when listening as this indicates non-aggressive behavior.

Monica说,跟别人交谈时可以做些手势,但 don't overdo it. 不要做过头。她还教给大家一种技巧,叫 "mirroring", 就是镜子 mirror 的后面加上 ing, 意思是跟对方学,如果对方说话眉飞色舞,你就也夸张一些;如果对方比较沉稳低调,你也要稍微稳重点,但要注意,never raise your hands higher than your chin. 做手势的时候,手千万不要高过下巴,因为这会让别人感觉威胁。听别人讲话还可以频频点头,让别人感觉你听得很认真。

A: Different cultures have different ideas about personal space. If the person seems to be moving away from you when you speak, maybe you are too close and they feel like you're invading their space.

M: That's true. You have to find what works for the individual based on their culture and your level of familiarity. Now I want you to experiment with the things I've taught you today and we will get back together and discuss how it's working out for you.

S: Great!

J: Thanks for stopping by, Monica.

M: You're very welcome.

Andy补充说,不同文化对 personal space 个人空间的定义也不一样,如果跟你讲话的人好象一直在往后移,那就表示,他们觉得你离得太近了,换句话说,You're invading their space. 这跟文化和彼此之间的熟悉程度都有关。培训结束前,Monica要大家回去把今天学到的东西付诸实践,下次见面时再继续讨论。